Wonderland

It's not just Alice who has been to wonderland. I feel that each one of us in our own special way is living in wonderland. Some memorable and some not so memorable days in our daily lives make us feel that we are living in wonderland. The experiences that we live through each day are so unique and different each day that we feel immature and inexperienced. Perhaps I'm taking everyone for granted by writing 'we' when my conclusion is based solely on my experience.

On other topics, I still wonder why none of the people I know are on Twitter. Isn't tweeting the next coolest thing yet? A lot of them are on Facebook and Orkut but not on Twitter for some strange reason. Perhaps, i don't belong there either.

Tomorrow is an important day for me. I hope what I'm up to will go well.

Now this is turning into a diary entry than a blog post and so I'm done.

I dreamed a dream ...

I have wondered many times about how dreams work. I'm sure I'm not the only person and that people have even done research on the topic and come to different conclusions. This post is about a dream that I had a couple of nights ago.

A former coworker of mine, Cobe, who lives in Canada now was in the dream. In it, the two of us were buddies and were playing a game which looked like cricket on ice. It's strange because Cobe and I have never even talked about cricket let alone play the game. What's stranger is the fact that the game in my dream is not an existing sporting event at all. It was a fusion of, perhaps, cricket and ice hockey which I know for a fact is his passion (or at least he has interest in the game and follows it).

The story only gets stranger. Cobe and I were younger in the dream and were playing as though the rest of the world didn't matter to us. His mother kept calling out to him to get back home but he ignored it as any boy of that age would do. I don't know his mother in real life and don't recall Cobe talking about her during our acquaintence. Any way, Cobe's mom (or mum as they say in Canada) finally came out of the house to me and said "Roby please tell him to get in; he'd listen to you". Yes, typical of my friends' moms. They all think that I have an influence on their sons.

Any way, I worked out a compromise between Cobe and his mom that we'd wind up after the current game is over. There's me the negotiator!

Strange story, isn't it?

Tribute

Hello, World! The last time I posted on my blog was two years ago, I believe and Michael Jackson has brought me back to my blog after a long gap. As we all know, Michael Jackson passed away yesterday - an untimely death, the death of an icon loved by many, hated by some but remembered by a lot.

The reason why I'm writing this today is because I'm simply amazed by the memories his death has brought back to my mind. Growing up in India, I didn't know much about pop or any kind of western music. Of course, ABBA and Boney M were popular in that part of the world also but it was Prem who introduced me to Michael Jackson. Prem was one of my best friends who went to school with me from 1st grade through 8th. He somehow knew about Michael Jackson and his music and was an ardent fan of the pop star. I borrowed tapes of Michael Jackson's albums Bad, Thriller and Dangerous from him to listen. It's amazing that I remembered Prem this morning after such a long time. I wonder where he is now and what he is doing. Even though I know that there is little chance of him reading this post but still Prem, if you do read this, I hope you are doing well.

I knew about Michael Jackson's other releases from time to time and a song of his that I won't forget is "Black or white" which was used by my team that took part in a fashion show back in college in India.

The radio station that I listen to in the mornings I drive to Peoria ran a tribute to Michael Jackson this morning. One of the hosts of the morning show had a touchy story to tell about Michael Jackson. Apparently, when he was little it was his older sister who introduced him to the pop star with the song "I'll be there for you ..." and its lyrics. He said on the radio that his sister passed away and he remembers growing up with her and misses her dearly.

Call it coincidence that it was my oldest sister who bought me my first and only Michael Jackson tape. After listening to the tapes borrowed from Prem, I asked my sister if she could buy me a tape too. She was very kind and bought me a tape of Michael Jackson's "We are the world" tour. Like the radio host, my sister also passed away and I miss her dearly.

Different

I don't know if any one noticed or not but the section of this blog where I briefly describe myself is now different from how it was when I first started creating posts. I don't think many people read my blog but I hope at least one of those very few who read noticed the change. I sincerely do. I'm a person who pays attention to details and often notices changes. I not only notice changes but also observe things that are new to me. I noticed a lot of new things, cultural, conceptual, behavioral - you name it, when I came to the United States five years ago and I continue to do so. After all changes make our lives interesting.
Any way, the reason why I brought the issue of change in my description up is because the first version included the fact that I call myself "different". Am I really different or is it just that I'm currently with a pack of people who don't care about what happens around them that makes me look like I'm standing out? I wonder about that quite often.

My friend Miracle and I have realized, on several occasions, that we are wasting our lives by not doing so many things that we do have the chance and ability to do. Why don't I do any of that? I come to this conclusion that I should not be selfish and do things that bring pleasure and satisfaction to myself but should should also consider people who matter to me. The irony is in the fact that these so called things that I want to or would like to do are not purely for my own pleasure. I think of doing things for others, the poor, the helpless, the sick, the homeless, the less privileged and the god forsaken. Why don't I get out of the box and do what I want to do? Why do I always have second thoughts?

I have a feeling that this post is going to be awfully long and I ask myself why bother write all these. Who is going to read? Will it make any sense to the person who might read this? Chances are no one might read this and even if some one does, it might not make sense. You know why? because I'm talking about myself. I'm writing my thoughts as I think. What I think need not make any sense to others and I feel that it should not unless you know me so well, well enough to interpret my thoughts the same way as I do.

Here are some of the ideas that I have about things that happen around us. I don't like to have pets and call them man's best friends. If you ask me why, my answer is that animals are not supposed to be given orders to so that they will please you. They are supposed to be out there in the wild. I ask people how would they feel if they had a collar around their neck and a leash to hold them back from going where they want to. We call them man's best friends because we train them to act in such a way that they act according to our wishes.

Now, you might ask doesn't the same apply to how you discipline kids? No it doesn't. We discipline kids, teach them etiquettes and manners, punish them for wrong doings and so on because that is how mature their minds are. Kids do not have the ability to think rationally. We need to mold and shape their minds so that they grow up to be mature individuals who are capable of making the right decisions. That is why I got angry, not at any one in particular but at society on the whole, when I watched a news article on CNN where they showed some parents who let their kids decide what they wanted to learn from when the were five. Guess what one of the kids wanted to learn - online shopping.

The parent might think she is doing a favor to the kids by leaving the choice up to him or her but the truth, at least according to me, is that they are making a blunder. The kids will grow up not knowing much about the world other than online shopping and how long do you think the attention span will be?

Yes, this is getting very long and boring. May be I should stop thinking and focus on the paper that I'm actually working on so late in the evening.

Before I wind up, let me mention about something funny that happened at work the other day. My manager, a co worker and I figured out something that was randomly sequential. Did that make sense? See! I told you it won't!

Have a kid to send to college? Did you add gun to the list of items to buy for him or her?

I have been reading and watching a lot of the coverage on the massacre on VT campus today. One interesting article was an interview that was aired on MSNBC. There was this gentleman saying that Cho managed to kill thirty people because no one else had a gun to pull out and shoot at him. I couldn't believe what I heard for a second or two. The solution for gun crime is more guns? What kind of world are we living in?

People of this country have to think out side the box. It is high time they did that. Reactions from all over the world are pouring in and many in Europe and other parts of the world suggest that it is high time America had more stringent laws to control arms. Right now, it takes just three forms of ID for any one to buy a gun. What I don't understand is why do we need guns to protect ourselves?

Why did this happen?

It has been a while since I wrote something. The incidence at Virginia Tech yesterday has prompted me to jot down a few words. One gunman, with a couple of hand guns managed to kill 32 people including himself. Was he frustrated with failure in academics? failure in a relationship or was he simply playing god?

Innocent victims who went to school that Monday morning as on any day didn't know what was in store for them. Some of them didn't know that that day was going to be their last day on earth. How easy is it? How easy is it to get hold of a gun and start shooting people indiscriminately?

The question that came to my mind as soon as I came to know about this event is how easy is it to get hold of a gun in this country? Guns can't be shipped to any one without an FFL (Federal Firearms license) but any one can purchase a gun from a store that has an FFL. Where do you find a store with an FFL? Go on line or check your phone book, you will find plenty of resources.

I have seen a lot of billboards along the freeways about gun control. www.gunssavelife.com is a website apparently dedicated to the people their right to own guns. Do guns really save lives? Is that what happened in VT yesterday? Why do have to have guns to protect ourselves? More than thirty thousand people die every year due to violence involving guns. Kids take guns to high schools, to colleges, toddlers get killed playing with guns, come on, this is the limit. It is time the politicians stopped thinking about invading other countries and instead focussed on what's happening at home. My request to them is to please put together tougher laws, amend the constitution, prevent easy access to guns, Buy all the guns that are out there. Days have changed. People, at least most people, are not barbaric any more to have a clause int he constitution that everyone needs guns to protect themselves. We don't need guns to protect ourselves. We know better than that.

The real worry

The troupes in Iraq are under tremendous stress and some Vietnam veterans say that these soldiers might find it harder than they did after the war. Last night NBC's Brian Williams did a story on how the troupes are handling such situations. Stress management sessions are offered to the soldiers and they are told how to better cope up with the hardships that they are subjected to everyday. The soldiers carried lucky charms like gold coins, photographs and so on but the most striking fact was the fear that many soldiers carried in their hearts but never discussed among themselves. The real fear, the real worry, the worry about "Jody". What is Jody or rather who is Jody? Jody is, explained one soldier, the guy back home who is with the wife or the girl friend.

It is not just the enemy that a soldier has to worry about. He doesn't know if he is going to go back home only to see his loved ones with Jodi. What a soldier!

Latter days

Often when I read books, especially fiction, I have wondered how people can think so much before they respond to certain questions. This had never happened to me in real life and that made it even harder to get a good feeling about how exactly would you react to certain questions for which you'd have to weigh the possible answers before you actually give one out. It happened to me yesterday.

Two young women, may be in their twenties, have moved in to the same building as where I live. They always wore a badge on their shirts and I wondered what was written on those badges because I figured that it was not just their name but something more. Another reason why I paid attention to these women is because they said that I drove a cool car. "Look he's got a hybrid!" - I heard one of them tell the other when I pulled into my parking lot and the other one responded "Hey, nice car!". Yes, I drive a gas-electric Toyota Prius and I'm very proud of it because it is a good car, saves money on gas (I'm sure I have not attained break even yet), it is technologically advanced and I'm a tree hugger (I have read that the emission from this car is comparable to liquid propane) and so I like people complimenting me on driving it.

Yesterday, on my way to the soccer game, I ran into these women again. This time I was close enough that I could read their badges. One of them had already passed me and the other was on her way in to the building and I was between the two. I didn't want to look like a pervert staring at this woman's shirt and so decided to ask her if I could read her badge. The first line was her name, which I don't remember any more, and the second and third lines read "The church of the latter day saints". I read this loud enough that both the women could hear what I had just read.

At that moment this woman asked me if I have heard of their church and I instantly said yes and that is when it all happened. Her next question was "From where?" Boy, was I in trouble? From the moment she asked that question and till the time I answered her, I had a fraction of a second to think and also say something. Within that fraction of a second so many thoughts went through my mind. Actually so many replies came up in my mind. This is how Roby's mind worked in that infinitesimally small period of time:

Response: I have read that your church allows, sorry used to allow polygamy. Some of your members who call themselves 'fundamental Mormons' still believe and practice polygamy.
Possible outcome: I thought if I say that they might get offended.

Response: I have heard that you claim that there is a fifth Gospel or something similar.
Why I didn't: I wasn't sure what exactly was it that they claimed.

Response: I have heard that you believe that by living in a certain way you can be God.
Why not? I heard this from a so called protestant evangelist who said on TV that "Catholics and Mormons claim that by being good, you can become God". I certainly know that Catholics do not believe that. What these guys preach lacks credibility and so I don't trust anything that they say. So I couldn't tell her that either.

Response: I watched the movie "Latter days", a movie in which a few Mormon guys live in an apartment in LA, and one of them is gay and falls in love with another guy who lives next door, gets caught kissing him, gets excommunicated, is put in a mental asylum and so on.
Now that is one response that I certainly didn't want to give. There are several reasons why I didn't want to say that. First of all, they might get offended, secondly, it could be embarrassing for them and last and perhaps the most important one was they might think that I'm gay. I will have to explain to them that I'm not (I'm married to a beautiful woman) and that I have watched many independent movies and this was just one of them and so on. That involved a lot of talking to save my skin.

I was aware that time was running out and that I had to giver her a response because other wise I would look like an idiot who said something just for the sake of saying. Then I remembered the music CD that some group that is affiliated to this church released a couple of years ago. The CD was a collection of Christian devotional songs but compiled and based on Mormon believes. I told her that I have seen commercials of this CD on TV. Well, I got away with a response. It was still not the best because she herself was not aware of this CD but I'm certainly glad that I didn't give any of the other responses that came to my mind before this one and found myself walking towards my car giving the excuse that I have to go as I had a soccer game to play in.

Among other things, I had a good weekend.